Even It Up!

Last night I was at my TAFE course (business administration) for a recruit & select staff module. Timely considering my current situation, anyway the discussion was about interviews and different people's experiences and they ranged from cliched to ridiculous when it came to interviewers questions to candidates:

Please liken yourself to a cartoon character and tell us how you would apply that character's personality to this job.

(my answer to that would be Stewie from family Guy, heheheh)

You are invited to attend an urgent meeting for a new project with four other people but you don't know what the project is for and neither do the other four people, how would you proceed?

(I got asked that at my last interview I kid you not)

Where do you see yourself in five years?

I hate this question, how the eff would I know? This is one of those questions that could screw you regardless of how you answer. If you answer 'I want your job' to the interviewer you're a threat and no company will guarantee you a job for five years anyway much less a career path.

Another girl in my class gave an honest answer to an interviewer and said that she'd have her MBA by then but when she was told she wasn't successful and asked for feedback she was told that she was 'too ambitious'

If you were an animal which one would you be?

and here's another dumb question some of my classmates got asked in their interviews. I haven't copped this one yet but I'm betting that answering with anaconda or tarantula would be counter productive.

 What's your dream job?

Is answering with: 'My dream job would have to be as Johnny Depp's personal masseuse' or 'a fluffer in the porn industry' ok?, LOL!. Seriously what do you answer to that one?

If you were a Star Trek or Star Wars character, which one would it be?

I'd love to be asked this one! but one of the girls in my class copped it and isn't a Trekkie or SW fan so after explaining to the interviewer that she couldn't relate to the question she got the animal one instead.

If you won $20 million in the lottery, what would you do with the money?

Well I certainly wouldn't be working for you bozos would I???

my answer to this question

If you were a Star Trek or Star Wars character, which one would it be?

i need to beam off this planet this is all just crap

A friend gave me this answer to the cartoon character question:

Please liken yourself to a cartoon character and tell us how you would apply that character's personality to this job:

I would be the Roadrunner. You crush, maim, and otherwise taunt and torture the competition. Episode after episode you can be relied on to stand victorious.

Or maybe Pepe le Pew. No matter how many times you are shot down, you will pull yourself up and tackle the issue with new fervor.

hehehehe.....

Another acquaintance of mine has a daughter who recently went for an interview, this was the question she was asked:

 "what is the most offensive T shirt you own?"

She couldn't stop laughing and did not get the job.

"what is the most offensive T shirt you own?"

gee i don,t know i will go buy one for my first day on the job it may even say F%^* you recruiter and HR department do i have the job ?

I'd be laughing at that question too as I don't even have any t-shirts with logos on them let alone an offensive one. What planet are these people on? and they wonder why they can't get the right person for the job *shakes head*

no wonder no one an get a job we can,t get past these fools who call themselves recruiters

geez!!!!!!!!!!!!!

True, true.  As a jobseeker you just can't win, unfortunately, with these sorts of questions.  You are damned if you do answer them, and damned if you don't.  Wish we had a constitution, because then we could all plead the 5th!

Anyone who asks that sort of question probably isn't worth working for.

The exception here might be the "where do you see yourself" question.

Its a smart question. It enables the hirer to get a good sense of the trajectory of a person's career, how ambitious they're going to be, what level of demand there's going to be on the manager for training, mentoring and so on, and whether there's a good match between the career / promotion aspirations of the candidate and what the company / manager is going to be realistically able to provide. It also helps with the assessment of a candidate's real motivation levels for the job on offer.

The best way to approach an answer is to be as honest as you can, including saying that you don't have an absolutely clear idea. Outline a few things that you know you don't want to be doing eg standing still, not learning, not contributing, not being part of a team, not getting brilliant performance appraisals etc etc.

I've walked away from otherwise good candidates on the basis of an answer to this question.

Once someone said they'd like to be running their own business within a couple of years. I wasn't looking to pay someone a salary to be focussed on establishing their own business for the next two years.

On another occasion someone said they'd like a total career change.Well, I didn't want that level of motiviation.

On another occasion someone said they'd like to be in the exact same position for the rest of their lives. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing (in fact I've hired someone on that answer before), it was just that on the occasion I heard this first, the company was growing very quickly and I realised that I couldn't actually meet their aspirations as an employer.

On the "What's your dream job?" question, the correct answer is to not talk about the job itself but to talk about the environment in which you wish to work eg "my dream job is to work with a bunch of wonderful people who value my contribution. I'd prefer to be working in a company that's going places rather than one that's standing still"

On the "Win the Lottery" question, its also about motivation and work ethic.I'd probably answer somewhere in the realm of 'I'd probably like to use my skills  to contribute more to society". If the job was not want I expected or wanted then

I think I'd probably quote Richard E Grant in "Withnail & I":  'I'm going to buy this place, sack the lot of you and put a jukebox over there in the corner"

[quote]The best way to approach an answer is to be as honest as you can[/quote]

and look where it got these people:

[quote]

Once someone said they'd like to be running their own business within a couple of years. I wasn't looking to pay someone a salary to be focussed on establishing their own business for the next two years.

On another occasion someone said they'd like a total career change.Well, I didn't want that level of motiviation.[/quote]

So regardless of what you might say to this question you're screwed, as per my earlier post and NO company is going to guarantee you a job for 5 years much less a career path

I've been asked so many stupid interview questions that I have lost count...I've also had a number of interviewers say some stupid things during interview as well

In an interview for a Harvey Norman Tech job the following was said (poetic license included, but it was weird enough to permanently burn an image in my brain of most of the conversation):

Interviewer: So if you found out that one of your fellow employees was successfully stealing computers and selling them for large profits, what would you do?

Me: Well, stealing hurts the companies profits which would jeapodise my job, so I would notify the manager right away.

Interviewer: But what if they were doing it in a way that they wouldn't be caught, surely you would be tempted to help them or ask for some hush money?  It's not like you are going to be paid well by us, how will you survive?

Me: Well, I think the long term benefits of having a job, far out weight the benefits of short term profits and a criminal record.

Interviewer: Sounds like you aren't a team player, I'm not sure I like that about you.

Me: Ok then, I would ask the guy for a cut to keep quiet.

Interviewer: Ha, I thought you were shady, you have just proven me right...this interview is over.

Me: WTF! 

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Another favourite was when I went for a 3 month temp job interview (for a basic admin position):

Interviewer 1: So Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: Well I'm part way through a degree and hope to do well enough to enter a PhD program in 5 years.

Interviewer 2: Don't you think that may interfere with your work here?

Me: No, I don't return to uni until a few weeks after this temp role is over so I don't see how it would interfere...

Int 1: We like a loyal workforce, so can you tell us what you would do to show us loyalty while you are working here?

Me: Well, for the 3 months I'm here I will hit the ground running, work hard and leave at the end with the knowledge that I did the best I could in the role.

Int 2: Yes, but what if someone offers you an ongoing role while you are working here, are you going to leave part way through just so you can have a permanent role for more money?

Me: Well, I'd try and negotiate to start the new job after this contract runs out.  If that wasn't possible I would make sure I didn't leave the team in the lurch, but it would be silly of me to forgoe a permanent job with better pay for the sake of a temp job.

Int1: Sounds pretty disloyal to me...

A loyal workforce went out with buckle up shoes as worn on the mayflower by pilgrams i have tried the loyal workforce thing by turning up on time and not taking sick days susprise i got screwed.

Never Again.

[quote]Interviewer: But what if they were doing it in a way that they wouldn't be caught, surely you would be tempted to help them or ask for some hush money? It's not like you are going to be paid well by us, how will you survive?[/quote]

oh for God's sake!!!! these people really do deserve to get chumps for employees with moronic questions like that!

" these people really do deserve to get chumps for employees "

last place i was at i and another got put off as things were slow however the manager was robbing the place and still is the owner is still clueless as to what really goes on as he hardly ever turns up.

Its clear the people who devise these questions do not live in reality. Dream job, I really loathe that term. Many people will never realise their dream job. So many jobs are just boring and repetitive. Employers should be glad to have employees who are punctual,reliable, pleasant, motivated, relatively efficient and who have a good attitude, ie take pride in whatever task they do. Instead they expect you to display an insanely keen attitude and a pathological devotion to some mundane position you will waste three quarters of your life doing. Its about time they recognised that reality. First and foremost people work to be able to live. Why else do so many people dream of retiring early and being authors or writing for a living. Its creative, uses the imagination and is not dull. Or travelling the world ultimate freedom. Sure a job gives you something to do and social interaction, self reliance and worth, blah, blah. But take an organisation that uses intimidation tactics to extract performance. Why would anyone volunutarily choose to work in such an environment. 

As for the animal question I remember attending some government computer course back in the mid nineties and the group trainer asked it. This older guy who was lacking somewhat in the personality department, and had been retrenched, chose a pig. The trainer then mocked him for his choice by making inferences to his charater. Few years later I was reminded of this in a show called the League of Gentlemen. It's a dark English comedy set in a small and weird northern town. One of the characters is this hideous job skills trainer who mocks and bullies the unemployed she's teaching. Very funny characterisation but rather disturbing. Re: SW character, wonder if a recruitment consultant would say Jabba the Hutt.

This issue is that invariably most interview questions are about a) risk management (we don't want to hire the wrong person in case we get stuck with them or b) to be tricky (all about power, which the jobseeker doesn't have).  Carey, why would you walk away from "an otherwise  good candidate" who didn't answer a question how you wanted?   Carey, you've just proved how subjective the recruitment process is!

From a jobseeker's point of view, the interview is a minefield.  You don't know the culture of the organisation, the politics, the power struggles and  the personalities that are involved in the receruitment process.  Giving "an honest answer" may actually be the wrong thing to do!  Josbeekers, in effect, fly blind.

Also, you can not find out from an interview how someone is going to perform in a role: it depends on the specific management, the organisation etc.  Research has been conducted that shows high achievers are only so because of the environment they work in.  Once they move workplaces, then often their high achieving days are over. 

This issue is that employers generally recruit for the long haul, but the realities of the labour market are that people now occupy roles for short periods of time, often as a result of casualisation, contract and temp work etc.  Once employers come to grips with this concept, then we will get some reflection of reality back into the recruitment process.

And here's an interesting quote from Google:

"One of the interesting things we've found, when trying to predict how well somebody we've hired is going to perform when we evaluate them a year or two later, is one of the best indicators of success within the company was getting the worst possible score on one of your interviews. We rank people from one to four, and if you got a one on one of your interviews, that was a really good indicator of success."

Sort of makes a mockery of the getting the interview right, doesn't it?!

at 09:58PM on Nov 09, 2009

And here's an interesting quote from Google:

 

"One of the interesting things we've found, when trying to predict how well somebody we've hired is going to perform when we evaluate them a year or two later, is one of the best indicators of success within the company was getting the worst possible score on one of your interviews. We rank people from one to four, and if you got a one on one of your interviews, that was a really good indicator of success."

 

Sort of makes a mockery of the getting the interview right, doesn't it?!

It highlights the blinkers companies wear when interviewing - they have no idea that the candidate is also sizing them up and deciding if this is a place they want to work.

Of course us grovelling out of work peasants should just be so damn grateful that we even got an interview in the first place, why wouldn't we want to to work for a place that rates interviews like that? *shakes head*

at 09:58PM on Nov 09, 2009

And here's an interesting quote from Google:

 

"One of the interesting things we've found, when trying to predict how well somebody we've hired is going to perform when we evaluate them a year or two later, is one of the best indicators of success within the company was getting the worst possible score on one of your interviews. We rank people from one to four, and if you got a one on one of your interviews, that was a really good indicator of success."

 

Sort of makes a mockery of the getting the interview right, doesn't it?!

That is a good reflection of what happens when an employer asks poor questions in the interview. 

Reminds me of the following:

In one of the govt jobs I was in previously, they asked one of my team mates what her future plans were in her interview for a more senior role, she said she wanted to be the head of the department.  The interviewers figured that this was a positive goal, even though in the 100+ odd years the department had been around, they had never employed someone within the department to the role as the employees don't get the opportunity to learn the skills to do well in the top job...it is the equivalent of promoting a cleaner to be the CEO.  When she was promoted they told her in their feedback section that even though she didn't really have the skill level for the senior role, they gave it to her anyway because they liked her future goals to run the place...it showed motivation to do whatever it takes to succeed.

The next time we had a meeting with the head of the department, she made a point of telling him at least 5 times that he had better prepare for retirement because his job was going to be hers...  It was embarrassing and inappropriate and he visibly tensed up every time she said it.  It was hard to watch...

Once it became apparent to her that she didn't have what it takes to work in a leadership role, she began to sabotage all her subordinates work to make hers look better.  I have had experience with office psychopaths before, so I avoided it by going around her and direct to our supervisor with all my work output and questions.  It lasted for a while until she tried to sabotage my work after I rejected her sexual advances and realised that she had no access to any of my work   She demanded that I obey her commands and stop going over her head, I refused and told her to take it up with the supervisor.  She did and he told her that she was trying to punch above her weight by trying to tell me what to do and that she was at a significant disadvantage if she was planning on taking me on as I had the support of the whole office.  Her reply was that she had been told be upper management to "do what ever it takes to achieve her goals" so that is what she was going to do.

I left not long after that, but stayed in contact with a number of my team mates.  They said that there was a minor battle fought after I left to try and rein her in, but some how she got the supervisor on side and he shielded her from any criticism.  After a bit of digging they discovered she had used the oldest trick in the work promotion book...she had slept with the supervisor and threatened to tell his wife When I found out I sent her an anonymous email saying "Well played!" 

However all this could have been avoided if the interviewers had given the correct response of "Nice goal, but there is no way that is ever going to happen as you don't have the skills or the opportunity to gain them", she would have stayed at the same level, someone else would have got the senior job and all would have been good...although I still think she would have tried to sleep with me and the supervisor.

it's embarassing that women like that are still around in the workplace!